• Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    My son(11) will say, “you can’t do that, I’ll call the police and they will arrest you”. I say, great maybe I’ll get some peace and quiet. He doesn’t know I won’t, so it works. Lol.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      17 days ago

      I think it’s time. you gotta sacrifice the strategy because 11 is old enough to know acab

  • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      17 days ago

      I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I’m not alone.

      • Darren@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        17 days ago

        My kid went through the same phase all kids do of refusing to go to bed.

        So one night he’s grabbing on to the baby gate at the top of the stairs like a con in a prison movie, screaming and yelling. I’m at the bottom of the stairs trying to ignore him.

        He fixed a stare directly at me, stopped screaming, and shit in his pants.

        So yeah, 100% of parents have arsehole kids.

      • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        17 days ago

        You are not; but they are not really assholes. They are optimising for some outcome that they want, with inferior tools/mechanisms. Depending on age, their brain runs on emotion most of the time, logic is a distant second place.

        In saying all of that…they can seem like assholes in the moment!!!

        • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          17 days ago

          Yeah, it’s funny. Sometimes my son, 4, he’ll talk to me, but his speech and communication are still in the very basics, and I’ll say, Buddy, I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying, and he’ll get frustrated, which leads to anger, all because I don’t understand what he’s saying.

          Turn the tables, I’m like, Dude, go to the bathroom, we’re getting in the car, you go to the bathroom before we drive, and he’ll say NO! And now I’m the one who’s frustrated and angry because he’s now the one who’s not understanding what I’m saying.

          As always, communication is key, and breakdowns always cause problems. And so we’re all just along for the ride.

  • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    So this one time I was like three and being too quiet. I don’t remember this. Apparently I had climbed up the upright grand piano and gotten scared of heights. I pressed myself against the wall and was whispering “help” over and over. Not too loud, because I was worried I’d get in trouble for climbing on the piano, but I needed help.

    I was a high energy child. I learned to stop my bicycle at first by jumping off it onto grass hopefully and letting the bike crash. It must have been a nightmare for my parents to watch. So any extended silence was suspicious.

  • Kühlschrank@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    … but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don’t want him around either

  • ater@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    This very much could have been my husband about a decade ago. The last tantrum my middle child ever threw, with lots of screaming and running and destroying things like a fucking tornado in the middle of a Target. Spouse carried them kicking and screaming out to the car while I finished checking out and by the time I got there they were buckled in their car seat, completely calm and composed, like a switch flipped. (As far as I know) it wasn’t any sort of punishment or shining moment of parenting, the kid just decided, I’m done now.

    And they haven’t thrown a fit since.

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    Kinda reminds me of when I was using dating apps, and women would ask how they knew I wasn’t a serial killer. “If I was a serial killer, it would be pretty stupid to leave a bunch of digital records of me being the last person my victim talked to, I’d get caught immediately.”

  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    My wife was waiting for me by the exit of Target with my infant son, and a lady rushed up with her cart, a baby in the baby holder, said, “Here, watch him!” and ran in the rest room.

    I walked up, and saw my wife with another baby, and said, “We can’t afford two, we’ll have to return one,” and she told me the story. I thought it was hilarious, and couldn’t wait to meet this woman when she came out of the bathroom.

    She eventually emerged, and thanked my wife for the help, and I said “You weren’t worried about handing your daughter off to a stranger?” And she replied:

    “No, she already had one, I knew she wasn’t about to steal ANOTHER one!”

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    17 days ago

    My first kid was a perfect baby, she’d sleep 10 hours straight, she was quiet and never bratty, we would take her to restaurants with all our adult friends and she was always well behaved and didn’t need a tablet and would interact with everyone. We used to silently judge leash kid’s parents with the wife.

    Then we had our second, an autistic boy with the energy of a thousand suns. Now I know, the leash isnt for me, it’s for all of you! The tablet at the restaurant makes sense now, and I don’t judge parents anymore

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      17 days ago

      When me and my brother were coming up there were no tablets. The only thing to distract kids back then was McDonald’s colouring books.

      Imagine my parents relief when the game boy was invented.

    • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      17 days ago

      And that everyone’s too damn poor. Babysitter? Not on average wages! No one wants to give up all of their time and money for kids they might not be able to provide for.