Hypothetically, if governments wordwide just suddenly became authoritarian and deleted all records of history, you and some survivors escape to a remote area outside of government control, they all can’t remember much from history (either didn’t pay attwntion in class, or suffers memory loss from the governemtn attacks) and so you are designated as this community’s official historian. How much can you remember? What’s gonna be the official narrative of your little rebel community?
rotates chair to glance at collection of hard copy encyclopedias & encyclopedic dictionary
IIT: People who don’t understand the premise.
“Look kid, all you need to know is that up until 2016 the world was simpler, but then they killed a gorilla which lead to the rise of fascism in 2025”
RIP Hambe. He was the best of us.
Dance off for hambe
I wouldn’t bother with history at that point. History only matters when we can rely on there being a future. And if the big oops happens, all that matters is raw survival and STEM (with the pure M being optional).
big bang - earth cooled - life appeared - life evolved - dinosaurs at some point ended by meteor - small mammals survived and evolved eventually to apes - apes evolved to early homminids I think going roughly authrolopithiciens to home sapien with many intermediary homos in there like habilis and interpred with another branch neandrathal (cro magnum is in there somewhere maybe after anthropolicicien). During all this evolution brains got bigger and things like art, tool use, language, and fire use became a thing. Early religion and ritual developed around birth and death and likely day to day essential activities. We came from a scavenger back ground but our tool use became weapons and we started to hunt. Over time we more and more intentionally started to plant seeds and keep animals which became farming. This lead to our species becoming less nomadic and as we started to stay in one location we started creating more robust shelter and infrastructure which lead cities and tribes becoming states. Earliest large ones we know are out of the middle east but kinda expanded west. Sumer to babylon to egypt. Then north. greek - roman. Expansion continued with a bunch of stuff in asia and europe and in between and surprisingly trade managed to flow across the known world while on the other side of the world in america you had a lot of folks sorta leading simpler lives but there was the inca empire. We think humans evolved in africa and spread out from there and at some point crossed to america during an ice age that created a land bridge. man this is long im tired. history over.
This is not much of a hypothetical scenario. History is being written with a bias or outright misrepresentation and has been forever.
There were Romans (basically Greek cosplayers), some dude with elephants who may or may not have been a cannibal. Then some dude got nailed to some lumber for trying to tell people to chill and love eachother. A few thousand years of fighting about that. Columbo sailed to India but found Aztecs instead. The cubs finally won… And that about brings us up to date.
Me personally?
A lot but summarized to hilarious extent. Example:
So mosses was like “guys I found a stream!” And god was like “the fuck you find?” And Moses was like “I mean god provided me a stream”
God was like “yeah it’s fine… the book i gave you described me as a chill god right? Not a jealous vengeful god… this is totally settled”
Then they arrived at the promised land and god was like “you can all stay here! Except mosses… he can fuck off to the stream he totally found”
Anyway my point is it wouldn’t be one person remembering all of history. It would be like f 451 where everyone remembers one book or one bit of history.
I can’t wait to read the New Aeao Version of the Holy Bible.
I thought of making a YouTube series where I summarize the whole bible like that lol book by book.
I also regularly summarize history to my kids like that. You should hear my Texas independence story lol
If you think the tale of mosses is real history then we really are screwed.
It’s not necessarily a real historical event, but an incredibly important story about liberation of the oppressed that influenced countless real historical movements.
Herodotus’ histories is mostly fictional but you wouldn’t want to forget it. Same with the Iliad/Odyssey, Epic of Gilgamesh, etc
Fair, but the context that they are not real historical events is critical.
I’d argue if you taught someone history and never mentioned the Bible you’ve left out an important chunk of history.
Besides it’s about as whimsical and fantastical as all history of that time period was.
I probably can’t remember much aside my own countries history, and even if I wouldn’t be able to give exact years and such. Luckily the whole of English Wikipedia (text-only) is roughly 100GB so I would probably distribute the records or requested articles via the black market. Also, this is basically how people in Cuba get access to internet content.
This is why books are so important. Real, physical, paper books. The scenario you are proposing is precisely what Fahrenheit 451 is about.
the catch is that the Fahrenheit 451 scenario nowadays just require a storage device to fail… very ecological, Greta must approve it
How do I print the 100GB English Wikipedia?
How do I even transport something that big without the authoritarian governmwnt noticing?
“Print”?
I mean, you’re in a fascist global dystopia and you’re gonna get picky about formats? I can carry a copy of Wikipedia in a SD card the size of my pinky nail, and I know because I have one. Who are these hipster kids that look at my Wonder Phone of Truth and go “well, this would be a lot easier on my eyeballs if you got me a paperback edition”.
Funnily enough RB, the author of F451, insists that everyone else is wrong, and that book is actually about falling literacy rates due to television viewership.
The book is prescient as hell. He saw the natural consequences of that reality and followed it to it’s logical, inevitable ends. He may not have intended for the book to be about censorship, but censorship is an unavoidable, inevitable outcome for a society in which most people are uneducated, uninformed, ambivalent ignoramuses. There will always be someone to take advantage of them and to make sure that advantage is defended.
The clear soda craze was the defining point of the 1990s. That’s about it.
There were troll dolls too.
And garbage pail kids
Truly the age of enlightenment
My head is full of episodes of Ancient Aliens. I should probably just stick to teaching English if I jad to teach anything.
I could probably recite Bill Wurtz’s “History of the entire world i guess”. And go into some more detail if someone asked.
War, no rights for most, war, war, more war, fight for rights (for everyone who wasn’t an old, rich man) worldwide, more war, we got rights granted for a lot of groups, and now in the big 2025 they’re being threatened because of said old rich men
Why bother? It repeats itself, yes? Fuck that. Start fresh.
THIS IS A DISTRACTION FROM THE EPSTEIN FILES! RELEASE THE FILES! Don’t let it distract you from your purpose!
