do we not jettison it against a tree like other humans? this effectively marks human territory and sends a clear message to other humans that “this is my home”.
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Make sure to use Poison Ivy to wipe your ass.
I love the combo of this blog’s subject with its domain name.
I sent it to several friends and asked them “Have you had ‘The Conversation’ with your loved ones?”
tl;dr: dig a hole or carry it around in a bag. Saved you a lot of words.
Thanks! Now I finally know How To Shit In The Woods
Congrats, you’re one step closer to the papacy
I’ve tried carrying a hole around in a bag but the darn thing always seems to get lost when it comes time to use it.
You obviously have to plant it in the ground first, silly!
Be careful which hole you do this with. Some are invasive and it can wreak havoc on your environment.
A Lemmy switcharoo? Rare find!
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You should get a bag of holding
You need a bag of whole dung, not a bag of holding!
DO NOT use a bag of holding for this, you will regret it.
Yeah, you gotta get the bag of holeding instead
Or a bag of whole dung
bag of hole dig
The thought of turning a bag of holding inside out to dump out its contents when it was used exclusively as a toilet is horrifying
*bag of holing
*portable hole
Portal gun?
Just be mindful of where the exit is.
If you get a hold of such a bag, one with a whole hole in its hold, whatever you do, don’t place a whole other bag of holing with a hole in it, inside it.
Rookie mistake. You have to be sure to use the whole bag. Anything less won’t work.
I pack gallon bags in my back-country camping kit so logistics may be a challenge. Could leave the tent and sleeping bag behind in order to fit a sufficient volume of fiber and make it work though. Thanks for the tip!
Wait … we’re not carrying around our bag in our hole now? Am I doing this wrong?
A 15cm (6 inch) deep hole 30m (100 feet) from the trail or water.
Will someone tell the animals ?
You are supposed to cover the hole with a relatively heavy rock to deter animals from digging it back up.
He meant to tell animals not to shit less then 30m from the trail.
There’s a lot of bad shit in our poop that isn’t in most wild animal shit.
Particularly transmissible diseases for other humans.
Spicy surprise
Also we’re visitors.
At least in major watersheds the primary reason for picking up dog poop is because of the insane nitrogen content of the insane amounts of dog poop that’s generated. The environment isn’t ready for that influx.
Potential disease vector is 2, then it’s icky gross is 3
is there a general term for this? it’s something that applies basically whenever we humans do anything these days and yet barely anyone thinks about it, it’d be good to have a word to throw at people when telling them about it
Pollution.
Make sure to know which direction the trail is when walking 30 m away from it. People died following this rule. Well, I know of one person that died because of it.
tbf 30m is an arbitrary distance, just go as far as you can reach without losing sight of the trail and maybe dig an extra deep hole instead.
A folding shovel is a must have in a car! I have dug my car out of so much snow and mud! Also good for burring your poo or a dead hooker.
Wait what?
#FreeThePoop
Get the BoglerCo trowel
A literal shitpost. Splendid.
Stop mixing it with broken glass and tossing it at other people’s eyes. That’s step one.
I poop in the middle of the trail I am hiking to assert dominance over the other hikers
I poop on top of other poops in the middle of the trail. This is my forest, and I got a lot of poop to prove it.
I like to poop upstream of water collection points.
Personally I do it around the outskirts of my camp to mark my territory.
Are you a horse?
No of course not!
I like to swallow those dinosaur sponges that come in a pill shape, having full on dinosaurs in your scat asserts dominance.
Eat it.
I prefer to smear it all around on my face like camouflage.
Good, wouldn’t want what happened on Cimbrean to happen here…
Is there a way to poop outdoors in a way that will harm my enemies?
If your enemies happen to get their drinking water from a well, there is. Contaminate the groundwater supply and enemies will be harmed. You can also poop upstream of a river or stream if that’s where they drink from. Bonus points if you get some tapeworms first.
You go through all that effort just to find RFK Jr taking his grandkids swimming in it.
Leave it less than six feet away from where they commonly walk around barefoot and they could get hookworm. If I remember the Radio Lab correctly anyway.
don’t i have to have hookworm to give it to someone?
Yeah, maybe…unfortunately my only advice is to walk around in or near feces until you get some hookworm, because that’s all I know about them. And I’m using the word “know” very loosely.
The answer is a kilt. Prove me wrong.
Edit to add: the fact I have to choose ‘English’ and cannot choose ‘Scottish’ makes me want to stab some cunt in the face with a tattie scone.
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tattie scone
Checks out.
