Moment of clarity? Embarrassed? Lost control of an antagonistic agenda?
I just delete all comments after a while, to cover my tracks just a little bit. I try my best to leave comments, that offer actual information, but when I switch to a new account, I delete everything. Also, when I go back to delete them, most of the stuff I wrote is just pointless shit, so it is also good to clean that out, so for sure nobody has to read it again.
Fuck AI
Because fuck you, that’s why. It’s my shit. I can do what I want.
Deleted by creator
Cause I accidentally commented on a tankie post and I’d rather not be told half a dozen times to off myself.
But you’re supposed to provide them their daily praxis. /s
I write dumb stuff sometimes. Doesn’t matter why, I just screw up.
Most of the time I’ll leave the post up. Whatever. I’ll live.
Sometimes everyone and their cousin needs to reiterate over and over that they disagree with what I wrote. I get tired of the notifications, yeah I know I screwed up, but everyone wants a gold star by their name for telling me so.
So I delete it. Enough is enough.
Ya or when you are the voice of logic and reason in a thread that’s about a highly emotionally charged topic.
That gets left up, but just walk away.
I suggested an anime the other day and got downvoted and berated for it not fitting their criteria. Rather than argue my case I just deleted that shit. I love the occasional anime, but holy shit the fans…
If it’s something egregiously wrong, I prefer to edit it and own up to my stupidity.
If it’s my considered opinion being downvoted, then I take the downvotes and backlash. I stand my ground, unless someone makes a point that enlightens me to consider a different position. Then, I’ll edit the comment to that effect.
The rare times I delete a post or comment is usually because I’ve posted something demonstrably false that I realized after posting it, or I replied to the wrong comment.
We are alike in every detail here. Good on ya.
I do it when I realize it’s a comment I don’t want to be associated with. Maybe I realized I was being tone deaf, maybe I realized I was being monumentally stupid, maybe I thought I was being clever until the post posting clarity showed me the light, and maybe I realized I was wading into a fight I don’t want to actually fight.
I get the people who prefer edits, and if I think an edit is valuable I’ll make it. I’m very much not afraid to edit. But if there’s little interaction with something and I realize it’s something I’d rather not have said, well then I just delete it.
Oh god the amount of times I have done the same is embarrassing, maybe I should start deleting them too.
Ya I delete a comment or post when I realize I received bad info and are spreading it. If you think you aren’t susceptible you are part of the problem.
Better to leave the comment up, and edit it when you realize the problem.
“
The Earth is FLAT!EDIT: Well, apparently, I was misinformed and dupe by idiots. Mea culpa.”And the idiots aren’t even the problem, it’s the disingenuous experts. When your a voice of authority and are spreading misinformation, well that’s the end of humanity.
I used to do this when I was on reddit from 2011-2026.
I did it because I’m a narcissist. Like actually, I was diagnosed with NPD in 2023. People disagreeing with me physically hurts. I don’t know how to explain it but when a person has a worldview disagreeing with me, it feels like an attack on me and causes this kind of ache in my chest.
Everything just gets translated to, “Oh, you think this way? God, you’re fucking stupid! I HATE YOU!” We cannot just disagree because my opinions and worldviews are so intrinsically linked with me. My whole world is me looking into a mirror and seeing nothing but my face. If it reflects something else, that’s frightening.
I obviously am trying to be a better person now and don’t react the same anymore, but in the day that is why I would do it.
Being a narcissist sound surprisingly like have zero inward confidence and self esteem every time I hear it described. Is that at all accurate?
I’d say so. Deep down, I don’t actually like myself. I’ve said before narcissism is like scar tissue or armor that limits your “range of emotion.” I’m either angry or feeling absolutely nothing.
I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for responding and helping me better understand it. I wish you the best in your journey to feel better.
I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, and from what i have learned and experienced, the main difference between me and someone with NPD seems to be our coping strategy to deal with the low self-value we assign ourselves. While a narcissist makes everything about them to avoid facing their lack of self-worth (replacing the internal issue with external means), i seek to avoid attention because it makes me face my lack of self-worth (the external is what i feel inadequatedly defended against) - this lack is a constant companion for both of us.
Both conditions show signs of significant distortion of the self-image.
Both are malfunctioning coping mechanisms - they worked at early development stages in childhood, when they were adaptions to bad conditions - one needed to be attention seeking to an extreme point, while I had to avoid attention to feel safe. Sadly, these frameworks become a lot more problematic as someone grows up, and these things are hard to change at all (not impossible, but it takes a lot of effort. I have been in weekly therapy for at least 25% of my life, and while i have made advancements, i still struggle daily)
We are both very bad at accepting critique - when i was younger, online comments were able to keep me awake at night, and in-person critique e.g. at work was hell, especially if there’s no time to mentally prepare myself for it. I can understand why we both might just delete everything instead of facing it. Damn, sometimes i have to take a few deep breaths to calm myself before i look at my notifications.
I feel like a surprising amount of problematic behaviours and attitudes boil down to childhood coping mechanisms that don’t make sense anymore
Thank you for sharing and for providing some insight. I wish you a speedy journey to wellness.
From what I’ve heard in all my experiences with folks woth BPD, all y’all in the cluster B have a ton in common internally, just different means of dealing with it.Apparently AvPD is cluster C, so nevermind that bitAnd good on ya for working on it so hard and consistently. While the results do matter, the only thing we should judge people on is whether or not they make a sincere effort, and it sounds like you are.
Personality disorders in general are, in my opinion, somewhat similar in structure. There’s some adaption to adverse circumstances going on, this adaption then causes issues because it is not adequate for the changed situation. Since the adaptions were enacted so early in life (and because the reasons are often interpreted as life-or-death situations at that age), they become an integral part of our sense of self. Changing something is a very scary prospect - for me it feels like i would have to let go of every bit of existing structure and risk a fall so i could enact any change.
In a overly simplified way yes. It tends to be more the inability to have self confidence or lacking the natural ego to foster it healthily. So a over correction occurs.
With out treatment or outside help that results in problematic behavioural responses, and other issues.
So funny enough the lack of self esteem results in a facade of too much self esteem.
Again this is GROSSLY over simplifying it and doesn’t even cover some of the more complex expressions of the topic.
Least this is how it’s been explained to me by phycologists when we where helping my uncle deal with his narcissistic and bipolar disorders.
That man was a walking mine field of mental issues. Thankfully he’s doing better now, only took 40+ years.
Impressive perspective you have there
Kudos on you for trying to better yourself!
I disagree.
EDIT: this was a bad attempt at a joke and insensitive, please accept my apologies
Delete this
Thank you for writing this.
I’m from the neurodiverse crowd so while I might not be able to relate completely or agree, I can completely relate to the situation of people telling me they understand but behaving in a way that proves they really don’t and really can’t.
Best wishes for your progress!
Damn. Having that knowledge must be some kind of a relief, isn’t? I don’t mean the diagnosis, obviously, but it must have taken up so much of your energy.
Proud of you, keep growing :) ❤️
That has got to suck. Absolute kudos for the self-awareness and working to better yourself, npd can hurt a lot of other people if you let it run wild.
Fascinating. What if your opinion was objectively wrong and you just found out? How else does NPD manifest?
I used to be a conservative, so this has happened to me several times. I used to actually believe in trickle down economics and even supported India when they were almost gonna get rid of the income tax altogether.
I then tried to find any example of when trickle down worked and… I couldn’t. The Kansas Experiment was a rousing failure and then tried to look to Gary Johnson and his “success” as the governor of New Mexico where he cut and never once raised taxes.
This put the state in debt long term and he privatized a ton of industries like prisons which have had longstanding impacts on the state. I couldn’t find anything, not a single piece of honest to god evidence showed my opinions were right.
If I am being completely honest, I had a full on panic attack in like 2020, coming from a mix of things to be fair but realizing I am wrong was part of it, because then it feels like reality and life itself are calling you stupid. I think a part of why I became a narcissist was my own mother would call me a retard when I was a kid and my teachers in high school bullied me, saying I’d never amount to anything. So my narcissism is like some kind of scar tissue that limits my range of emotion.
After my panic attack, I met some other people in real life who were former conservatives and admitted they were wrong and kind of just came to get used to being wrong. That maybe being wrong isn’t a mark against you. Maybe you can just move on from it. Maybe sticking to your guns isn’t a sign of strength, but weakness?
It’s a hard life man lmao.
thank you for sharing your experience and perspective on this! My mother is a narcissist but was never able to have that moment of realizing she was wrong about literally anything before driving away every single person in her life, so it’s extremely interesting to hear an ‘insider’ perspective, so to say.
My view is that of course being wrong isn’t a mark against you. Nobody can just instinctively know or understand everything. If you need proof that being able to receive new information and adjust your views and opinions is a sign of strength, just think about how hard that is and how easy it is to shut out whatever doesn’t agree with you
So if humanity disagrees with a set of powerful narcissists, they will delete humanity. We should teach in schools that narcissism is genetic and humanity were better off without most of them.
Narcissism isn’t necessarily genetic, predisposition to it may be, but personality disorders seem to be caused by a combination of factors, with a major one being childhood experiences. Source My father has (unmanaged, but not particularly severe) NPD and I just wound up with CPTSD and no personality disorders. Same for all my siblings.
In my uneducated opinion, a much better school based approach would be to keep an eye out for children displaying signs of personality disorders, possibly even screening for them, and then trying to help get them access to treatment from a young age so they can stop hurting themselves and others sooner
Declaring genetics as the main factor is pretty recent. But anyway, given the person you inherit it from is usually not far away, mother and/or father and or grandparent/grandparents, the non narcissist parent (if any) is fighting an impossible battle. Knowing about NPD particularities early on, might increase chances, though.
If you suspect they might, always quote reply.
I delete comments pretty frequently. Sometimes you just realize you’ve said something that’s gonna lead to a bunch of unpleasant interactions, and you’d rather just everyone have a pleasant day.
I actually wrote a big reply mentioning a time I did this… and deleted it because I didn’t want to chance another dog-pile.
I cancel posting comments all the time. I write out this whole thing and then when I get to the end of it, I realize I don’t actually want engagement. Sometimes the internet can be a bit hostile and I’m not always in the right state of mind to want to invite it into my life that day.
I discard more posts than I post. Overthinking cancels out impulsivity pretty well.
That’s my realization back on reddit after a few years since I joined around 2015. I rwalzied I just don’t want any engagement when it’s something even slightly heated.
Back before I joined reddit I used to hang out in manga scanlations (scanning and translating) forum sites and well, things always gets heated and I a was a vile young man. As I get older and got a job, I realize I just have no energy left to do other things if I’m constantly enraged and seeking things to get enraged about. So off my own sanity I avoid commenting unless it’s just something silly or whimsical.
But even then people still sometimes do that twitter meme: “I like pancakes”. “SO YOU HATE WAFFLES HUH!!!”.
I usually when that happens I put down my phone / step away from my computer for some minutes and just ignore it.
Now that I’m here, I’m also being even more careful. Being a lot smaller than reddit, even compared to the period around 2016 - 2020 reddit, makes it that my name might be a bit easier to stumble upon. Not that there’s stopping anybody to stalk me here or even in back on reddit. I keep a low profile and just lurk. Seems to work fine for me.
It’s good to read I’m not the only one that disengages so much. I often lurk lemmy every day but do not comment causing people to think I am inactive on lemmy. I have several drafts of comments I never submitted. I once saw someone on lemmy talk about lies they grew up with and said they welcome a woman’s perspective since some of them concerned women. They actually still had perspectives that were problematic and I gave the smallest push on them since most of their comment I agreed with, that caused them to crash out and edit their comment, tell me I am upset and need to calm down and that my experience as a woman was wrong compared to their experience as a man that knows some women and that I am regurgitating thoughtless social media views, just turn aggressive from 0 to 100. It just drains so much of my energy to comment.
Fuck waffles and pancakes. French toast is where it’s at!
You’ve just made an enemy for life!
Absolutely. I’ve written multiple paragraph responses, and then I realize I may have to argue that or just engage more than I’m willing to at that time and just delete it. I’ve got more important things to do than engage in Internet discourse.
I’ll do this post it then disable inbox notifications.
I’ve looked at my inbox maybe twice in the last year.
I post then move the fuck on, anyone replying to me only gets a reply if k accidentally stumble back on the same comment later.
Everyone else can pound sand. Replying is almost never worth it
More often this realization comes when I see the reply notification. It’s a “wow, I actually don’t want to participate in that discussion” reaction.
I want there to be a less turbulent internet where all the biggest media and message board sites are carved up into shallower pools and someone just making their first post is more likely to get constructive engagement instead of being immediately at the mercy of ten thousand people who will tear them apart. Let us focus group our posts with likely pals before it floats out to the open waters of global criticism. I know you still have to prevent echo chambers and figure out how to balance safety with engagement, so it’s not a simple problem to solve when it comes to finding the right algorithm. It’s just that right now, engaging with mass social media feels a lot like boarding a rickety canoe that’s already actively immersed in Class 5 rapids.
Even deciding to say something in small social media places such as this one involves bracing myself for a potential onslaught of disagreement about something I didn’t think about or got wrong or didn’t think was as big of a deal as they clearly do. It’s part of what made me improve my debating and spelling skills very early in life after visiting early message boards and chat rooms. But there was a limit to the number of people who could yell at you back then. I look around now and feel things have become a bit out of hand.
And save for common sense legislation, the only way to change the way modern social media operates is to make new brands of media that are both more engaging than existing forms and prioritize health over profits. Humanist social media, which might be a myth, to think that you can match the user retention of existing companies without tuning your algorithms to maximize addiction. But possibly, having a healthy relationship with social media and learning positive things from people online can be addictive in its own way. Maybe in a way that can drive user retention even higher than current systems could ever hope to. But they’ll never know because making a system that gradually dismantles capitalism doesn’t sound profitable. In any case, I think we should try.
I mostly just add stuff in that situation. I might’ve been wron, unclear or in a different context. Just now I had a post where people thought I was supporting trump(a actions) in a way and I tried to add things I thought obvious.
But I also get what you’re stating. I think that’s when I wrote a post and then delete the test before posting. So maybe thats basically the same.
A little mantra I like is
Don’t believe everything you think
Sometimes I come to that realization after I’ve hit the post button, and whatever I’ve said is either a dumb take or needlessly antagonistic. We already get so little free will, no need to throw away the bit we get just to be a stupid asshole.
I agree but I have a curve ball question.
When you come to the point, why not edit the post/comment to “I don’t agree with my original post/comment” or “I step away corrected”. Another take about information: “I have come to a realization that I was wrong and find someone’s comment [insert link] or this is the correct info [insert correct info is source link]”.
I ask this because I do the same as you but would this be a example of progression for ourselves and others? Is that a culture to have or do we naturally do that on our own paths?
Fair question, I guess it just depends on how I feel that day and whether or not it’s even worth engaging with even myself about it rather than expunge the dumb thought from existance. I don’t necessarily forget it, but the feels linger if I leave it hanging, and I only get so much time on this planet.
I guess it’s just easier to delete it and move on with my life and the next time I come across the thought I approach it differently for everyone’s sake.
I like to think I’m okay with being wrong, but just like every interaction, it goes smoother if I don’t need to backtrack and regain the trust of my interlocutor. Mulling on it myself instead of with someone I’ve already pissed off is probably more productive. I guess that’s also part of the learning curve.
These rang true to me.
I guess it’s just easier to delete it and move on
I like to think I’m okay with being wrong
Thank you for sharing!
This is what comes to mind for me every time I do so. Lately I’ve just feel obligated to try to do something different, like what I asked to you. Maybe it could be a way to not do bad comments at least.
You also shouldn’t believe everything that you breathe, or you’ll get a parking violation with a maggot on your sleeve.
Eres un perdedor.
You reasonable son of a gun!!!
Could be shame
It’s shame avoidance, can’t cope
