I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don’t think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.
Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they’ve never done anything in life.
It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren’t. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed “lazy” and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they’ll enjoy, but they dont do it. I’ve offered to hang out with them when im their town (we’ve been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.
I already know most replies wil be “ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO “SAVE” THEM” but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.
Edit: i knew there’d be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.
“Im not judging”, proceeds to judge.
These days 25 isn’t that old to be living at home given extortionate rent and lack of decent job prospects. So if they had a soul-crushing job they would be “healthy” in your eyes?
Why are you so optimistic/pushy about them becoming wage slaves?
Because that’s one way to move towards independence. Independence not just from the parents, but from having a soul-crushing job.
It’d be hard for a 30-year old with no education or job experience to get a job or start a business. Or save up money for anything.
Ok but if they are smart like OP claims they will surely already know they’re unlikely to have money if they don’t get a job at some point. If OP keeps bringing that up it’s pretty condescending.
I never bring this up to them, that would be assholish in my opinion.
Hate to break it to you but sending them job openings and code camps counts as bringing this up.
I just sent them as something to look at. I’ve never said “you need to look at this, you jobless loser!!” Its always been oh ya here’s openings at my company (because they asked what people there do) and they expressed some interest in coding but like me have never been able to stick with it so ive sent code camps I was trying out to see if they wanted to do it together. Etc.
Or they’re counting on mom and dad’s money until the parents pass away. Could be in denial about how much time they have and how easy it would be to get a job when that time comes.
Thats also why its worrying. They dont have a cent.
Now I dont doubt they could really get a job pretty easily if they wanted. They just have no reason to
If they find a way to make money without needing to build up the discipline through a job etc., then that’s great. People can do that over the internet on low-cost areas or with some familial support.
Not everyone can.
Yes, there’s enough resources in the world to go around where people shouldn’t have to work, let alone 40h a week.
But currently, that’s impossible in every country that I’m familiar with.
I never said they had to get any sort of job. But they dont do anything (bike, running, volunteer, board game groups. Literally anything)
I just brought up the job thing because its easy.
Also. No being can live without doing some work, and i dont believe its healthy to do so. Even creating art can be “work” (at least for me it is).
They play games and socialise online. Why would a board game group be any better than that? In terms of exercise, that’s their prerogative, I’m sure they will at some point when health issues start arising but why are you so bothered if they don’t?
I could personally live quite happily without doing work. When animals are fed and watered do the get back to grafting? No, they socialise, lounge about or play. Stop trying to push your definitions of “living” on others.
You dont think much about who provides you the food, clothing, electricity, housing to live comfortably. People seem to forget about those who are working in the sewers and keeping your plumbing running, and that the world would be totally fine if no-one did any work at all.
Now, do we need to sit in cubicles 45 hours a week, likely not. But there is still work that has to be done to survive and thrive.
I think about that all the time personally and think those sort of jobs should be the highest paying.
But getting an average 40 hour per week office job is not helping those sorts of things whatsoever, it will just be increasing profit for shareholders.
In-person interactions are quantifiably different than online interactions, and it’s helpful to have those skills in one’s repertoire.
Because OP cares about their friends and wants them to get ahead of things rather than waiting until it’s too late to start paying attention to their health.
The best way to treat an unhealthy heart is to not let it get unhealthy in the first place, for instance.
Ok fair enough, for social interactions, board games would probably be better than video games but perhaps they are more introverted than OP.
I’m sure OP has good intentions but as others have said you can’t push your vision of healthy living on others, they have to come to that conclusion themselves. Apparantly these friends are smart so likely know the health effects of a sedentry lifestyle and that’s their choice.
The tone of writing is quite condescending pretending those of us that have jobs or other hobbies live in some kind of work-happy socially integrated utopia.
Being smart doesn’t mean they know everything. They would probably get it if they read up on it, but not every gamer reads up on the health effects of a sedentary lifestyle, etc.
I get that people have different hobbies. My primary hobby is gaming. I’m introverted. I enjoy working remotely. I like my job, but I’d still quit if a passion project could support my life.
If I were stagnating by spending all of my time with hobbies and not improving myself or my future, I’d hope that someone would help snap me out of it.
25 and living at home isnt that much different to most…but OP says that they havent had a job, so Id like more detail. What have they done with their lives up until this point?
Played computer games. Sadly thats it. Thats why I feel bad for them.
“What have they done with their lives up until this point?”
Sounds like they’ve lived a nice if somewhat sheltered life close to their family playing games. Maybe at some point they might get bored of that or want more money and venture out into the world but that’s not up to you or OP to decide/judge, it’s their life.
Im not judging, thats why Id like more info. If these people are happy with their situation, leave them to it, some people are happy with in their comfort zone.
If theyre unhappy, thats a totally different matter. For instance do they want something better but lack the confidence, skills, or connections?
What if they are unhappy and working would make them unhappier?
Thats what Im asking for when I say id like more information…like why are they unhappy?
With that said, i dont want OP to answer me, Im just looking to answer his question.
Also, I think we are all unhappy in this capitalist shithole, the working class at any rate.