I have a few.
Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?
Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.
Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.
Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.
Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.
When the guy keeps fucking the uglier of the two girls and the pretty one is just kinda sitting there.
When the girl doesn’t even get full naked. You’ve been fucking for almost an hour, why is your top still on? I wanna see your tiddies already!
No story or talking or setup at all.
When a girl is keening/moaning for no reason. She’s not being touched, or anything, yet she’s super loud. Breaks the willing suspense of disbelief.
Ameteur porn: shitty camera angles and shaky cam.
Professional: Fakeness everywhere.
Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk
Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.
The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.
Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.
I’d rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.
You managed to nail about every peeve of mine in one short comment. Bravo.
Just curious, is your comment about fake moaning and fake dirty talk apply to every single video or do some actually do ok?
The only ones I’ve seen do it okay, are the amature videos that arent faking it.
but I have not watched every porn ever produced, so I’m sure there are some out there where the faking isnt miserable and bad.
See, I watch gay porn, so that under view with balls is actually super hot. Lol. And I quite like the pile driving/jackhammer fucking in real life, so that doesn’t bother me, either. But I don’t like professional porn, I like amateur stuff. And the fake moaning suuuuucks
if we’re talking specifically about dick and ball focus… I want my dick and balls to be cute, and shaved, if i’m gonna be looking at them. I dont want to feel like i’m watching Sasquatches sex tape lol
That’s a fair point. Lol. I do prefer shaved, or at least trimmed, but in porn I don’t mind hairy so much. I don’t care for it in real life when it’s in my mouth, though. Hairy balls are unpleasant in the mouth
Yeah, nothing worse than getting hair in your teeth or having a wiry pube go up your nose and stab your brain.
Like, you joke, but straight up, I despise getting pubes in my mouth. Fucking things are worse than popcorn kernal shells.
I wasnt joking at all. I’ve done both of those things, and i hate it. The long wirey pube up the nose and tickling the back of your eye is awful.
Haha. It’s so fucking awful, ain’t it? Lol
Production value.
I’ll take a video recorded by a married couple with an iPhone over a bunch of fake people in a fake scenario faking how much fun they are having.
I would have no problem with pornographic sex scenes in properly produced films, with a proper script and everything. But I have no interest in professional production values if all it brings is better lighting and a ton of makeup and fake moans.
Man, you would love Dexter. Each sex scene is borderline hardcore porn, and there are a lot of sex scenes.
I only know of Dexter, the series about the serial killer wit very few sex scenes, and Dexter’s lab, the cartoon with I think and hope no sex scenes
And ass warts. Don’t forget about that.
I’ll generalize to say that what you’re looking for is a genuine connection between the performers. It not only shows better consent on set (it’s hard to break consent and still have a genuine connection), but it’s just better in general. This doesn’t always happen in amateur porn, but it’s more likely. It does happen at larger studios, but they usually have to be run better.
One thing that I think Kink dot com pioneered was showing an out of character interview with the performers ahead of time. Adulttime has picked this up as well. They sometimes cut it for the versions that go on tube sites (either shortening it or removing it altogether), and I think that forms part of the argument that, yes, you should pay for porn if it’s within your means. If you like something coming out of a studio on a tube site, they probably have a lot more of it that doesn’t even show up outside their pay site.
Anything that comes across as fake, but especially long fake nails or in fact long nails of any kind. Please don’t put those near any sensitive spots.
I say “comes across as” because all porn involves performance. It’s about believability, not authenticity, at the end of the day.
Anytime the girl says shit like, “Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?”
STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.
Removed by mod
I don’t watch porn anymore, wasn’t much on it anyway, because I watched a video of a woman on Reddit whose husband constantly set up multiple gang bangs for her, which she claimed to love and posted photos and videos of, but I realized when I played on how detached and disconnected she looked from the whole process, and that likely she was being largely forced into it by her husband. At one point she moved the wrong way and the guy who was basically using her slid out, and she just said “oh sorry” as if she had accidentally stepped on his toe. It was just depressing.
Removed by mod
Speaking from personal experience, it’s extremely hard to leave someone manipulative and abusive. They condition you into it.
Audio that doesn’t match video.
Did you watch that dirty movie which had Morgan Freeman quotes from The Shankshaw Redemtion overdubbed as well?!
non consensual scenarios. i know it’s all acting, but it’s a turnoff for me, and kind of disturbs me that people get off on rape fantasies
Obviously fake noises and high pitched voices. Just talk at normal volumes and make moans and grunts and other non-performative noises, thanks.
Yes, I know that even doing that is performative to a degree, but convincingly realistic is better than B movie performances.
I was going to simply reply “audio.” I watch them all on mute at this point.
I check occasionally if they don’t have ridiculous facial expressions and once in a while they are decent. Then I see if they have anything else because hot damn it is rare.
- Prolonged close-ups and shitty camera angels in general. Do I really need to see 47 seconds of a dick sliding in and out of a pussy in 1080p?
- Seeing how badly porn actresses have aged, it seems you either quit while you’re ahead, or move to Vegas get bolt on tits and lipfillers and gain 20 pounds, there seems to be no in between.
- Blood, I see even the tiniest speck of crimson red on the screen and I’m out.
I’d say everything else is just specific to taste. Something not being my kink doesn’t ruin a video for me, it just doesn’t interest me in the first place.
… shitty camera angels…
Shitty camera angels are the worst! Like, why even consider an Archangel when there are Seraphim and Cherubim out there!
Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.
Love being online, where people can casually say “I spend a fair about of time in kink clubs” and nobody bats an eyelid.
Thinking about the actors as people who are at work.
And how they all probably work for the most unattractive kinds of bosses that just whips them around to produce content.
I get that pre-work depression and nobody’s putting anything in my mouth or butt. I just can’t imagine it from their perspective.
Think about the office politics there, they all just want to go home and run their errands, damn now! Hate all I can think of!
One of the actors being really not into it, faked or not.
If they aren’t all clearly having fun, like in those fake rape videos, then it isn’t for me.
british accents.
Naw then it’s all right and proper
