I have no idea how people agree to have sex. And I get panic attacks in relevant situations.
I’m quite sure I was in a situation of mutual attraction with at least several people so far, but then what? … someone has to say something or suggest having sex. And that’s not me.
If you’re having really good chemistry with someone, if you’re having fun together you both start to feel a thing that makes you feel very, very comfortable with them. Laughing together becomes sitting together, becomes holding each other, becomes eye contact, becomes more and more quiet time, next thing you know you’re tangled together and nature starts to take over. It’s not always, or even usually verbal.
That’s how some people do it, some people are more direct and just say “wanna go somewhere?” and they retreat somewhere private to either do the above, or go about getting intimate in their own way.
You can’t go wrong talking. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the person you’re with on even the most basic level, if you’re at all unsure about enthusiastic consent, or what your partner really wants, you have to back up and either spend more time getting comfortable or admit you’re not feeling that chemistry together and move along.
Nerves are normal, you should feel nervous but more like the way you feel nervous about to get on a roller coaster. It should be exciting so make sure you understand if your anxiety isn’t crossed with your excitement responses. You shouldn’t feel scared you should feel heightened and aware. Your partner should also feel this way, it’s always okay to ask someone “Are you okay?” “Do you want to?” “Want to wait/go further?” and it’s not at all embarrassing or awkward to check with your partner. Unless, again, you’re with someone whom you’re not actually comfortable being intimate with.
It doesn’t start with sex, it starts with a kiss or a touch. You can also just make it literal and tell the person you’re attracted to them. That’s what usually worked for me, communication is key.
Everyone has different types of interaction and connection with each other, and various levels of comfortable intimacy with people. But generally, when you do hit it off with someone, it usually starts off with prolonged eye-contact, deeper and more engaged conversations and a back-and-forth with light flirting, even if it’s just smiling and joking together.
That progresses to more physical contact, hand holding, sitting together/lap sitting, hair touching, usually followed by soft talk and close faces. This is where you can easily gauge your partner’s interest, if they’re reciprocating and seem equally enthusiastic you can quickly move to kissing and suggesting going somewhere more private where you can ask if they want to go somewhere to spend the night or if they rather take it slower. If you find yourself taking the lead, it’s always good to give an “out” and suggest an alternative to going direct to sex. Cuddling, talking in private, watching a movie together, etc. You might feel nervous, but the person you’re with might be even more nervous.
If you’re with the right person, you will reassure each other and find a comfortable pace to progress. If you’re already at this point of touching and kissing, it’s not going to be a deal-breaker at this point to be talk clearly about what you want and to ask if they want the same thing, or to even admit you’re nervous because you’re attracted to them. If you’re with the right person, it should feel fun, you should both start feeling nature take over as you want to get closer together.
I have no idea how people agree to have sex. And I get panic attacks in relevant situations.
I’m quite sure I was in a situation of mutual attraction with at least several people so far, but then what? … someone has to say something or suggest having sex. And that’s not me.
If you’re having really good chemistry with someone, if you’re having fun together you both start to feel a thing that makes you feel very, very comfortable with them. Laughing together becomes sitting together, becomes holding each other, becomes eye contact, becomes more and more quiet time, next thing you know you’re tangled together and nature starts to take over. It’s not always, or even usually verbal.
That’s how some people do it, some people are more direct and just say “wanna go somewhere?” and they retreat somewhere private to either do the above, or go about getting intimate in their own way.
You can’t go wrong talking. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the person you’re with on even the most basic level, if you’re at all unsure about enthusiastic consent, or what your partner really wants, you have to back up and either spend more time getting comfortable or admit you’re not feeling that chemistry together and move along.
Nerves are normal, you should feel nervous but more like the way you feel nervous about to get on a roller coaster. It should be exciting so make sure you understand if your anxiety isn’t crossed with your excitement responses. You shouldn’t feel scared you should feel heightened and aware. Your partner should also feel this way, it’s always okay to ask someone “Are you okay?” “Do you want to?” “Want to wait/go further?” and it’s not at all embarrassing or awkward to check with your partner. Unless, again, you’re with someone whom you’re not actually comfortable being intimate with.
It doesn’t start with sex, it starts with a kiss or a touch. You can also just make it literal and tell the person you’re attracted to them. That’s what usually worked for me, communication is key.
I think it probably starts a long way before a kiss or a touch. At least, I’d hope it does.
Depends on if it’s a surprise or not. But since surpise one sided intimacy usually racks up felony counts I wouldn’t suggest it.
Everyone has different types of interaction and connection with each other, and various levels of comfortable intimacy with people. But generally, when you do hit it off with someone, it usually starts off with prolonged eye-contact, deeper and more engaged conversations and a back-and-forth with light flirting, even if it’s just smiling and joking together.
That progresses to more physical contact, hand holding, sitting together/lap sitting, hair touching, usually followed by soft talk and close faces. This is where you can easily gauge your partner’s interest, if they’re reciprocating and seem equally enthusiastic you can quickly move to kissing and suggesting going somewhere more private where you can ask if they want to go somewhere to spend the night or if they rather take it slower. If you find yourself taking the lead, it’s always good to give an “out” and suggest an alternative to going direct to sex. Cuddling, talking in private, watching a movie together, etc. You might feel nervous, but the person you’re with might be even more nervous.
If you’re with the right person, you will reassure each other and find a comfortable pace to progress. If you’re already at this point of touching and kissing, it’s not going to be a deal-breaker at this point to be talk clearly about what you want and to ask if they want the same thing, or to even admit you’re nervous because you’re attracted to them. If you’re with the right person, it should feel fun, you should both start feeling nature take over as you want to get closer together.
Prostitutes exist precisely for people that don’t want to do or have trouble with these things you know.
You give them money, you get ussy. It’s a simple system and they’re happy to explain how it works to get a repeat customer.
Yep, that’ll do it. If you want to have sex with someone, someone has to make a move. That someone would probably need to be you.
I sometimes say “wanna fuck about it?” And it normally works okay.