You wanna know what? I’ll come out and say it. It turns out a lot of guys older than 25 get ED.
I did. Mine was mental health related BUT the medicines are safe enough that the doc said I didn’t even really need to list all the symptoms, just saying “can’t get it up all the time” or “won’t stay up” and they’ll get you something.
So long as you don’t have heart problems.
They only tell you about that nasty 4 hour side effect. There’s another one too - it can make you last a lot longer. Like I can’t stress this enough. Sounds cool, until your partner finished half an hour ago and you just don’t have the energy to keep at it. Good news is that the exhaustion and frustration usually prevents that 4 hour side effect 2-3 hours in advance.
Sometimes I wish I had ED so I would match my wife’s lowered libido after two kids. But nope, just as spry as when I was a teenager. Grass always greener, eh.
Edit: it’s actually pretty fine. I nag her charmingly and we get it done, a bit less often than I want, but enough. Masturbation keeps me at bay.
It’s honestly a lot easier after the divorce. When I was living with her it was a constant caveman brain going “woman to mate with! Must mate!” And mate she did with another man.
I will say there are biological interests, but I’m far from being emotionally ready yet.
Therapist says I have to get to a point where I don’t freeze trying to talk to a woman first. I have done that, a couple of times now. Still not quite ready.
Interesting. Freeze in what way? The traumatic thousand yard stare way? Or the awkward stammering “hi my name is gorgeous you are peoplebeproblems” way?
It’s that “fight, flight or freeze” phenomenon. I get the memo in my head “hey, introduce yourself” then when I, say, get up out of the chair, right before I take that first step, the fear comes in from memories of my ex wife telling me how awful I am or how I never did enough around the house or how I didn’t work hard enough or how ill never get someone as good as her again.
It’s always been exhausting for me to go out (likely autism related, and the more I come to terms with, yes, I’m high functioning or whatever, but at least I am starting to figure out me now).
starting an anti-depressant has helped me a lot with that. it’s a feared side effect but sexual preoccupation can also be really exhausting. now I still enjoy it but it doesn’t have to be as often; the desire factor still strong but not overwhelming. and the sensation is totally the same - just takes longer for the gun to fire, and it’s less urgent to do so all the time.
Interesting. I’ll keep that in mind if it becomes a problem causing me to feel depressed. For right now, I’m enjoying my feelings. 😅 We’ll see what happens as life goes on…
They only tell you about that nasty 4 hour side effect. There’s another one too - it can make you last a lot longer. Like I can’t stress this enough. Sounds cool, until your partner finished half an hour ago and you just don’t have the energy to keep at it. Good news is that the exhaustion and frustration usually prevents that 4 hour side effect 2-3 hours in advance.
SSRIs can have a similar effect. Like, thanks medicine, just one more thing to make me depressed.
There’s evidence that even if SSRIs work (and there is some doubt due to study bias), what they definitely do is significantly increase the risk of what they call adverse or harmful events, so there’s that too, sorry.
You wanna know what? I’ll come out and say it. It turns out a lot of guys older than 25 get ED.
I did. Mine was mental health related BUT the medicines are safe enough that the doc said I didn’t even really need to list all the symptoms, just saying “can’t get it up all the time” or “won’t stay up” and they’ll get you something.
So long as you don’t have heart problems.
They only tell you about that nasty 4 hour side effect. There’s another one too - it can make you last a lot longer. Like I can’t stress this enough. Sounds cool, until your partner finished half an hour ago and you just don’t have the energy to keep at it. Good news is that the exhaustion and frustration usually prevents that 4 hour side effect 2-3 hours in advance.
Its stupid cheap too.
Sometimes I wish I had ED so I would match my wife’s lowered libido after two kids. But nope, just as spry as when I was a teenager. Grass always greener, eh.
Edit: it’s actually pretty fine. I nag her charmingly and we get it done, a bit less often than I want, but enough. Masturbation keeps me at bay.
I might be wrong, but I think ED is different than low libido… You’ll still have sexual desire, you just can’t physically do anything about it.
If you’re depressed as well, maybe try an SSRI. Two birds with one stone lol.
You’re probably right about the ED vs low libido. I was mostly kidding, kind of. 😅 But still good info and good correction!
Yeah, been there.
It’s honestly a lot easier after the divorce. When I was living with her it was a constant caveman brain going “woman to mate with! Must mate!” And mate she did with another man.
I’m sorry buddy. I hope life is better now. 🫂💙
It’s getting there. I found people to spend time with outside of the house. That helps a lot.
Awesome. No interest yet in pursuing another lady?
I will say there are biological interests, but I’m far from being emotionally ready yet.
Therapist says I have to get to a point where I don’t freeze trying to talk to a woman first. I have done that, a couple of times now. Still not quite ready.
Yeah buddy, keep it up! I believe in you.
Interesting. Freeze in what way? The traumatic thousand yard stare way? Or the awkward stammering “hi my name is gorgeous you are peoplebeproblems” way?
Yeah definitely the traumatic way.
It’s that “fight, flight or freeze” phenomenon. I get the memo in my head “hey, introduce yourself” then when I, say, get up out of the chair, right before I take that first step, the fear comes in from memories of my ex wife telling me how awful I am or how I never did enough around the house or how I didn’t work hard enough or how ill never get someone as good as her again.
It’s always been exhausting for me to go out (likely autism related, and the more I come to terms with, yes, I’m high functioning or whatever, but at least I am starting to figure out me now).
starting an anti-depressant has helped me a lot with that. it’s a feared side effect but sexual preoccupation can also be really exhausting. now I still enjoy it but it doesn’t have to be as often; the desire factor still strong but not overwhelming. and the sensation is totally the same - just takes longer for the gun to fire, and it’s less urgent to do so all the time.
Interesting. I’ll keep that in mind if it becomes a problem causing me to feel depressed. For right now, I’m enjoying my feelings. 😅 We’ll see what happens as life goes on…
or anxious! prozac rocks
SSRIs can have a similar effect. Like, thanks medicine, just one more thing to make me depressed.
There’s evidence that even if SSRIs work (and there is some doubt due to study bias), what they definitely do is significantly increase the risk of what they call adverse or harmful events, so there’s that too, sorry.
And combine the two, and the real frustration begins.