Sometimes I wish I had ED so I would match my wife’s lowered libido after two kids. But nope, just as spry as when I was a teenager. Grass always greener, eh.
Edit: it’s actually pretty fine. I nag her charmingly and we get it done, a bit less often than I want, but enough. Masturbation keeps me at bay.
It’s honestly a lot easier after the divorce. When I was living with her it was a constant caveman brain going “woman to mate with! Must mate!” And mate she did with another man.
I will say there are biological interests, but I’m far from being emotionally ready yet.
Therapist says I have to get to a point where I don’t freeze trying to talk to a woman first. I have done that, a couple of times now. Still not quite ready.
Interesting. Freeze in what way? The traumatic thousand yard stare way? Or the awkward stammering “hi my name is gorgeous you are peoplebeproblems” way?
It’s that “fight, flight or freeze” phenomenon. I get the memo in my head “hey, introduce yourself” then when I, say, get up out of the chair, right before I take that first step, the fear comes in from memories of my ex wife telling me how awful I am or how I never did enough around the house or how I didn’t work hard enough or how ill never get someone as good as her again.
It’s always been exhausting for me to go out (likely autism related, and the more I come to terms with, yes, I’m high functioning or whatever, but at least I am starting to figure out me now).
I have an ex wife who used to tease me about working part time and still feeling work exhaustion. (I was studying at uni at the same time though.) She was a piece of shit for that. Joke’s on her, now I make very good money and have a family and she’s god knows where. She’s a ghost. But let’s not allow any hauntings! 💪
starting an anti-depressant has helped me a lot with that. it’s a feared side effect but sexual preoccupation can also be really exhausting. now I still enjoy it but it doesn’t have to be as often; the desire factor still strong but not overwhelming. and the sensation is totally the same - just takes longer for the gun to fire, and it’s less urgent to do so all the time.
Interesting. I’ll keep that in mind if it becomes a problem causing me to feel depressed. For right now, I’m enjoying my feelings. 😅 We’ll see what happens as life goes on…
Sometimes I wish I had ED so I would match my wife’s lowered libido after two kids. But nope, just as spry as when I was a teenager. Grass always greener, eh.
Edit: it’s actually pretty fine. I nag her charmingly and we get it done, a bit less often than I want, but enough. Masturbation keeps me at bay.
I might be wrong, but I think ED is different than low libido… You’ll still have sexual desire, you just can’t physically do anything about it.
If you’re depressed as well, maybe try an SSRI. Two birds with one stone lol.
You’re probably right about the ED vs low libido. I was mostly kidding, kind of. 😅 But still good info and good correction!
Yeah, been there.
It’s honestly a lot easier after the divorce. When I was living with her it was a constant caveman brain going “woman to mate with! Must mate!” And mate she did with another man.
I’m sorry buddy. I hope life is better now. 🫂💙
It’s getting there. I found people to spend time with outside of the house. That helps a lot.
Awesome. No interest yet in pursuing another lady?
I will say there are biological interests, but I’m far from being emotionally ready yet.
Therapist says I have to get to a point where I don’t freeze trying to talk to a woman first. I have done that, a couple of times now. Still not quite ready.
Yeah buddy, keep it up! I believe in you.
Interesting. Freeze in what way? The traumatic thousand yard stare way? Or the awkward stammering “hi my name is gorgeous you are peoplebeproblems” way?
Yeah definitely the traumatic way.
It’s that “fight, flight or freeze” phenomenon. I get the memo in my head “hey, introduce yourself” then when I, say, get up out of the chair, right before I take that first step, the fear comes in from memories of my ex wife telling me how awful I am or how I never did enough around the house or how I didn’t work hard enough or how ill never get someone as good as her again.
It’s always been exhausting for me to go out (likely autism related, and the more I come to terms with, yes, I’m high functioning or whatever, but at least I am starting to figure out me now).
That’s a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
I have an ex wife who used to tease me about working part time and still feeling work exhaustion. (I was studying at uni at the same time though.) She was a piece of shit for that. Joke’s on her, now I make very good money and have a family and she’s god knows where. She’s a ghost. But let’s not allow any hauntings! 💪
starting an anti-depressant has helped me a lot with that. it’s a feared side effect but sexual preoccupation can also be really exhausting. now I still enjoy it but it doesn’t have to be as often; the desire factor still strong but not overwhelming. and the sensation is totally the same - just takes longer for the gun to fire, and it’s less urgent to do so all the time.
Interesting. I’ll keep that in mind if it becomes a problem causing me to feel depressed. For right now, I’m enjoying my feelings. 😅 We’ll see what happens as life goes on…
or anxious! prozac rocks