You and someone else got hung up on the specific example. I’m sure I could have come up with a better example where the raw and nice version conveyed the same amount of information.
Problem is, the second statement doesn’t give any information about why the dress is unflattering, which deprives the individual of knowledge they could use to actually improve their situation.
Imo, a better option is to combine straightforward information with emotional support - eg, “Hey, so I love you, but as your friend I wanted to let you know, for your own long term benefit, that that dress makes it clear how many cookies you ate last Christmas.”
There are many ways to express any given truth, or facets of the truth.
“That dress makes you look fat”
“That dress doesn’t flatter you”
“That dress fatters you”
It’s not only that the 2nd version conveys no real info to work with. It’s just politely avoiding answering without saying anything of substance.
But. It totally matters who the recipient is. My wife or friends? Sure…brutal honesty. I’d expect to receive the same.
The business - partner 's wife? Maybe not so brutal. 😁
You and someone else got hung up on the specific example. I’m sure I could have come up with a better example where the raw and nice version conveyed the same amount of information.
“That dress makes you look thicker than a bowl of oatmeal”
Problem is, the second statement doesn’t give any information about why the dress is unflattering, which deprives the individual of knowledge they could use to actually improve their situation.
Imo, a better option is to combine straightforward information with emotional support - eg, “Hey, so I love you, but as your friend I wanted to let you know, for your own long term benefit, that that dress makes it clear how many cookies you ate last Christmas.”
that’s like saying words have many meanings depending on their intonation. ofc they do.