Poppins and Robbins

The real problem is God doesn’t believe in me

Yeah, you’d think conservative men would like it for this reason. Remind them of their first girlfriend back home on the farm.

Can you add a chamfer?

I think they’re just curious, not implying it makes a difference

Is it AI or just a good 'ol fashioned shop?

Jokes on them, I have all their fingerprints now

I thought the conservative stance was that there’s no systemic racism. Your co-workers actually think all racism is solved, in the US of all places?? Sheesh

Why is the font like something from a Star Wars poster?

There’s a whole genre of these missing limb jokes, often puns.

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen

What do you call a man with a prosthetic toe? Roberto

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on the ground? Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter what you call them, they aren’t gonna come

How do you get a one-armed person out of a tree? You wave

Etc.

I’m only happy when it rains

A similar one I see quite often is “and” when it should be “an”. Not sure if it’s an auto-complete thing or they genuinely don’t know the difference, maybe due to their accent/dialect. Either way it’s like getting tripped while walking when stumbling over it in a sentence.

That’s why it’s funny when I’m naked

Ok but why is this caption on a picture of someone setting up a carport?

That’s why they think that’s what DEI is, because that’s what they do. A thief believes everybody steals.

Cat named Goku?

Seriously. Why are people so obsessed with streaming music when they have tons of it that can just be right there with them, no external connection needed?

Of course, that’s the newest console I own!

How long before one of them zaps themself at the urinal?

“The Avengers when it’s not their movie”