“relate” is the problem term in this scenario. when someone’s dad dies in a car accident and you say “my dad died fighting nazis” that isn’t “relate” that’s one-upping
when someone royally fucks up at work and you say “yea, i did the same thing. and here i am still,” THAT’S relating.
it’s not about making people feel like their situation isn’t bad, it’s about communicating that you understand. even if you don’t really
It’s important to verbally bring it back to them after sharing your similar experience. Something like, “bla bla bla so yea losing my father was devastating so I can imagine the pain your going through right now.” Then pause and let them talk again.
I think half the problem is that neurotypicals don’t connect dots the way neurospicy folks do. It goes without saying to neurodivergent folk that the reason/purpose/meaning behind the personal story is to create a foundation for empathy and connection.
“relate” is the problem term in this scenario. when someone’s dad dies in a car accident and you say “my dad died fighting nazis” that isn’t “relate” that’s one-upping
when someone royally fucks up at work and you say “yea, i did the same thing. and here i am still,” THAT’S relating.
it’s not about making people feel like their situation isn’t bad, it’s about communicating that you understand. even if you don’t really
It’s important to verbally bring it back to them after sharing your similar experience. Something like, “bla bla bla so yea losing my father was devastating so I can imagine the pain your going through right now.” Then pause and let them talk again.
I think half the problem is that neurotypicals don’t connect dots the way neurospicy folks do. It goes without saying to neurodivergent folk that the reason/purpose/meaning behind the personal story is to create a foundation for empathy and connection.
To take this further, a relateability sandwich really helps.
Start with “I really relate to that because I had a similar experience.” or similar
end with “So I really sympathize with you, and I learned/still feel [insert summary of relevance to their situation]”