In my early 30s. It was 2-3 times a week. A couple years ago it was basically every day because my friend group was also the polycule I was in and there were a lot of us. Currently it is back to basically every day because I’m going back to university and my new friend group are all students and I live in a student apartment so we see each other in and out of class.
Edit: actually it’s been basically every day for years now. Somehow forgot I was living with my best friend during the transition from leaving the polycule to moving abroad for school.
Almost 38, I spend all my free time with my wife. Started off more balanced before we moved for my work, and the more I focused on time with her, the happier we were. I hang out with work friends occasionally.
My pre marriage friends became vile, Trump-worshipping, incel assholes, so I am very content with my decisions.
Edited for typo
40s, most days each week. My wife and I schedule couch rotting days to recharge.
Edit: I hadn’t read through many other responses before I commented. Not trying to flaunt or anything. I just wanted to let younger folks know that social life isn’t necessarily doomed as you get older. We don’t have kids (which makes it easier,) but many of our friends do. They just have to be deliberate about setting aside time for themselves which can be tough to do.
Im 37. It seems lot of friendships boil down to scheduling, convenience, and how tired one is
I know I have friends, but they’re all technically my wife’s friends and their husbands. We probably socialize once or twice a month, depending on schedules. I love them all, but I have no friends that I socialize with 1:1. It’s always a group event. So in a way it feels like I have no friends.
The one friend that is truly and originally my friend, since middle school, I’ll see maybe once a month if I’m lucky and it’s usually a framily event with our wives and kids. And the time and distance apart feels wider than ever as we’ve gotten older.
Socializing at 40 is… different, and oddly lonely.
47\
Socializing at 40 is… different, and oddly lonely.
That’s exactly why one of the neighborhood wives reached out to my wife to see if her husband could join our dnd game or otherwise hang out; she was concerned because he didn’t really have friends that he ever saw or spent time with and felt like it was making him feel very lonely.
This last Saturday I invited him and another neighbor over and we had a side splitting time playing Sundefolk. Now we’re discussing him running a campaign for us.That’s the first new social group of people for me in the last 5 years but it’s pretty damn cool knowing there’s at least 2 other fun dads in the neighborhood.
Edited to add some wordy words
what i dont’ get about socializing as a 30-40 something… is how ultra focused it is on money and politics… and almost nothing else. every convo is politics or money related. in money include jobs, houses, cars, and expensive consumer purchasing. or travel/vacations.
i literally haven’t talked about movies/shows/games/books with anyone in like a decade. if i try to bring that topic up people get weirded out and go right back to politics, money, or travel.
all my dates these days only care about my money and my politics too. nobody asks me what i like to do in my free time or what my favorite things are anymore. i saw a date between some younger 20 somethings and they were listing their fav shows/movies and talking about them and I was so incredibly jealous. last time I went on a date where someone asked me about that stuff was like 15 years ago.
i had a date this weekend and all she wanted to know was my politics, my job, my family/education background and what kind of car I drive. It was degrading.
I have no friends
Getting close to 40 and I spend time with friends probably on average 2-3 times a week. I’m a sociable person but do have a low social battery, so need a lot of time alone/just with my partner. Me and some close friends put on music events so we naturally spend a lot of time together which is nice.
I’ve got 2 groups of 2 friends each that I keep in touch with every 2-3 months. Well, one friend lives about a 8 hour car ride away so I only see her actually about once a year. We always have to plan at least 2 weeks if not a month in advance for meet ups but we still all make the effort.
I think that’s the hardest part is finding people who are worth the effort and are willing to make the effort in return. What I find works for my friends who are pretty different from each other is to find shared interests and do that. One group likes trying new places to eat and going shopping (a lot of times are H-Mart and Daiso). The other likes to watch movies and the review them together.
Not often enough. Some friends have multiple kids and others with multiple jobs but we try to hang at least every few weeks.
I’m 56. I hang out with 5 to 6 friends 10 times a month on average. Mostly to play tabletop games. Sometimes I meet one or two for lunch.
friends?
Try to do online games with my best friend once a week, I do jams with people in public once or twice a week, will probably be dancing in some capacity once a week, and I’ve got a second date coming up soon. Then there’s weekly D&D, of course, and any of the unique plans that come up during the week.
Of course non of that stops me feeling sorry for myself when I have even one day where I lay around and do nothing but I try to just let the feeling pass instead of worrying about it too much.
Twice a year at most, if traveling coincides with the right locations.
Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.
Actually, a psychologist suggested it had more to do with my youth, but whatever. I don’t drift much these days, there’s too many snags, I just keep holding my head above water.
57, almost never, it’s mostly family and work. We do have parties about 2-3 times a year that include whoever wants to come, that gets some friends. But really almost never, family got so big that it’s a big network of people and that’s most of our entertaining.
Do you not have hobbies? Not even once a week or month?
Oh yes, I go to yoga, see people and talk to them. Sometimes games with my (grown) kids, I cook and bake and garden, Pokemon go raid hour I see the same people a lot, and at work of course. I like the neighbors too. Just nobody seems to invite anyone 'round.
That still counts, though. Why would you not count that?
Oh, I thought OP meant just hanging out, like a dinner party or on the back porch or watching a movie at our house or their house.
I do see people (in real life) who i like, and am not lonely or anything.
Just not much sitting around with friends at my house or their house anymore.
40s. Have a group of friends that try to meet up twice a month to play Dungeons and Dragons. Then we have other friends we probably see every few months.
