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You can also hit Create to tell Amazon about your chronic flatulence and nuclear arsenal. :)

Alexa, add monster condoms for my magnum dong to my shopping list.

Constantly complain to Alexa about being alone and buy a lot of “for one” merch.

Holy narrow gauge Batman

Humanity: Corporate short-form hyper-real entropic media

Me: gooooooooooon

Maybe I’m just too honest with Alexa…

Looks more like a rectangular store to me.

it pronouns boner activation tits you fucking moran

Imagine if the guys at the manhattan project were like “there is just NO WAY we’re gonna keep one of these from going off accidentally at some point, it’s INEVITABLE! In fact, ALL of them might go off at once and DESTROY THE WORLD!”

They probably still would have invented it anyways, but just imagine!

At this point it’s pretty apparent that not only do we not need a president, we can still function with one that is actively working to destroy the country.

At this point, the human extinction is an enthusiastically advertised feature and not a bug.

Imagine if this was invested in arresting climate change.

You never watched Star Trek?

I never said I liked either of them, I just said I preferred one to the other. The difference is, I absolutely despise one and the other is merely tolerable to me, if just as harmful.

In the end, I don’t think anyone cares about the difference or my opinion anyways, they’d rather just have something to hate, details-be-damned. Not very thoughtful or scientific is it?

Leftist mysticism notwithstanding, I’ll take pseudoscience over raw religious absurdity any day. At least the ideas seem relatable to real concepts, like techno-babble. God is such an intentionally broad and purposefully mysterious concept so as to be essentially unknowable.

Semen strudel everyday baby!

Oh man, maybe people should stop buying these. I bet they totally won’t though.

https://www.amazon.com/toast-tongs/s?k=toast+tongs

How can I help you today?

Yes, he was an awful man for totally running Hulkamania wild on the Twin Towers during September Slam at the World Trade Center.

And the racism stuff was pretty bad too I guess.