If you’re offered hospitality (like coffee, water, whatever) accept it even if you don’t really want it. Little things like that leave a good impression on people.

Adventure Time

Kinda surprised no one’s mentioned 988 yet. (Edit, okay yeah I saw it.) It’s relatively new but it’s absolutely a thing. I also happen to know the VA has a crisis line as well if anyone can use that. They promote it often.

In my experience there’s two types of suicidal people. One is the person who talks about it frequently, sometimes jokingly, sometimes not, and that person is easy. They’re asking for help and for someone to intervene. They want to be stopped.

The second one is the one we should worry about. They’re dead set on taking their own life and will make sure they can’t be stopped. They’ll make a plan quietly, secretly. They’ll carry out the plan when no one is around. They may even look okay, because often a person who has made the final decision to do it will appear calm and happy. If you suspect such a thing, the only thing you can truly do is make sure they never get the opportunity. Make sure they’re never alone. Keep them talking. Watch their mood. Tell others in their circle to do the same.

Which brings me to another point: Call in the cavalry. You don’t have to fight someone’s suicidal ideation by yourself. Get their friends and family around them to move them towards professional help, because it’s a group effort.

As far as real, actionable advise, that’s really the best I can offer.

Plot twist: Chris and Debra didn’t actually hook up. She got it from a vanilla shake Chris made for her.

You’re sick, Chris. You want to get written up again?

Pretty sure that’s been classified as an act of terrorism.

Bet it runs Doom though.

God my artery is so fucking hard rn.

I see I’ve got a fellow Hurricane Floyd survivor here. Here’s my story:

I was living in eastern NC at the time. What I remember is they expected the storm to pass through during the night. So we hunkered down, went to bed, I remember waking up a couple times during the night and hearing the wind but I didn’t get up to look.

In the morning I stepped outside and discovered that I couldn’t go anywhere. My apartment was at the top of an incline near a creek and most of what was below us was underwater. So many of my neighbors lost their homes, their cars…the streets were flooded. It was like living on an island. We had no power so I cooked with a little propane camping grill. I remember power being out for a couple days. Only once the power came back on did we realize the full extent of the damage. I vividly remember aerial footage of dead livestock floating in floodwaters.

I worked at a small music store at the time and it got completely gutted. Flood water came in the back entrance, went out the front entrance, and carried almost all our gear away with it. We had to reconstruct the entire interior of the building and purchase all new inventory. We weren’t able to open for business for almost two weeks.

Funny story about that: A few weeks later a guy came in carrying a power amp he said he found about a quarter mile away alongside the highway. He assumed it was ours. We checked the serial number and it was in fact ours, but by that time we had already received insurance and emergency funds and were able to write off almost all the lost inventory. So we said he could keep it. Couple weeks later he came back, said he disassembled it, let it all air dry for a couple days, reassembled it, and it worked fine. Dude scored a $700 power amp for free.

Have I been playing Skyrim wrong all this time?

“Jfc not again…”

Poland, probably.

This is clearly pro-ACME propaganda.

On one hand I strive to live a fundamentally “good” life. I have a work ethic, I love and take good care of my cat, I do my level best to be a good dad for my kid, and I try to be a good neighbor. I take care of my physical and mental health. I keep a tidy house and my car in good working order.

On the other hand, well, let’s just say I have done things. Vile things. Criminal things. I have ruined lives and I have destroyed other peoples relationships. I have partaken in acts of debauchery that would make Caligula blush. And here’s the kicker: Not only do I not regret those deeds, but in some cases I revel in them. And I might not be done.

I don’t think the mods sleep as much as you people think.

throws a pumpkin at a tree

There was a teeny little kerfuffle not long ago over something called the “Tesseract list.” You should go see if you’re on it. If you’re are, you’re in good company. ;)

Spirituality (final tier):

To the death!