Also, as I know from experience, they do very little against blunt force from behind.

Cool. The thin kind cut into squares I can get here. It’s the deep dish no one offers and your description kinda explains why

I’ve never had Chicago style pizza and I have no idea where to get one here on the west coast of Canada.

But… Are they wrong? Have you run for a public office, volunteered for a political cause, or done anything besides talk?