I had a shitty abusive childhood with zero social contact, so I never really learned how to have friends, or thus how to need or really derive much fulfilment from them; all my emotional needs and regulation had to come from within, and I am the part of a person that’s left when all the bits that can’t survive that are gone.

I got out of there eventually, but by that time it had kind of grown over; I eventually learned to be (slightly) social, but honestly it’s a bunch of work for empty calories; I can spend the whole weekend’s time/energy/spoons on some group activity but don’t get to recharge and it’s like not getting a weekend at all.

so in answer to your question I do a lot of hiking.

They don’t want to reconstruct it, they want to raze it to the ground and kill everyone, then oh look free land.