- 230 Posts
- 339 Comments
Oh I like that version!
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•I need lemmy folks to be my moral compass quickly, please
2·4 days agoIt wouldn’t be a till deficiency because op wasn’t charged for it. It might be a blip in the inventory count, if they even check
Nice, thank you!
I’ve seen this argument from people before, with avocado toast and Starbucks and everything else, but no one seems to ask why lunch is $28 or blame the people charging $28 for lunch as part of the problem
I stole it from Pinterest
All of these jokes reminds me of the joke about jokes.
You see, back in the vaudeville days, social clubs were popular. Secret societies, fraternal orders, et cetera. So all these comedians got together and created the National Order of Comedians, Clowns and Jokesters. Every year they would have a national conference, and each member would get up on stage and tell a joke. See the comments here if you want to relive the experience.
As the years passed, since all the members were extremely professional and took humor seriously, and with the NOCCJ taking in new members, they decided to save time and just tell the punchlines. So a comedian would go on stage, say something like “wrecked him? Damn near killed him!” And everyone would chuckle, and then pass the mic to the next person.
Well more years passed and they got even more members, the NOCCJ was huge. So to save even more time, they made The List. All the jokes were on the list, and each joke got a number. So a comedian would get up on stage, say something like “57”, everyone would politely clap, and then pass the mic and keep going.
Last year though, something happened. I was, of course, there, sitting in the crowd, and things were going on as they have been for years. “34” clap clap. “876” clap clap. “358” clap clap. “277” clap clap.
Then someone, I couldn’t tell you who, got on stage and said “478”.
From the back, this old man starts laughing. He’s got tears streaming down his face, he’s roaring with laughter, falling out of his chair. He’s laughing so hard people are worried he’s going to have a heart attack! So we rush back to him to see if he’s all right.
We got to him and pull him off of the floor, and someone asks him “what’s going on? Are you ok??”
Panting, still crying from laughter and wheezing, he yells out… “I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE!”
Would you mind transporting and explaining it to me? I’d love to learn
Jelly on top, peanut butter on the bottom, bread in the middle
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•How dangerous is to travel to the US nowadays?
22·11 days agoMost people commenting are probably Americans who don’t know what it’s like to travel in a different country, so they don’t know what “safe” looks like to other people around the world.
Generally I’d say the danger depends on where you travel, how you travel, and can change depending on the location you’re in.
Overall, statistically, the most danger your friend will be in will be when driving.
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Technology@lemmy.world•DuckDuckGo installs are up 30% as users reject being ‘force-fed’ Google’s AI SearchEnglish
1·11 days agoWell that’s neato, thanks for sharing
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Technology@lemmy.world•DuckDuckGo installs are up 30% as users reject being ‘force-fed’ Google’s AI SearchEnglish
13·11 days agoDude I don’t even know what that is or what it does and I’m pretty sure most people don’t either. It might be easy but what the heck even is it?
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Whats the dumbest thing youve ever heard?
25·12 days ago“Monkeys are brown because they eat bananas. You know how flamingos turn pink because they eat shrimp? Well monkeys eat bananas and bananas turn brown” -two dead ass serious girls I met
“People didn’t use crossbows when trying to siege a castle because the bolts fly in a straight line, so they fly over castle walls” -college history professor, about to be surprised gravity existed in the middle ages
The library has great resources for people, for free, for all sorts of situations
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Buy European@feddit.uk•Our AI just got even better (Ecosia switched to Mistral)English
3·13 days agoHow come that one town lost water pressure?
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•What are some stereotypes you know of for weird groups you're a part of?
82·16 days agoThat wasn’t dark humor, it was just dumb and cringe
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Technology@lemmy.world•Barnes & Noble CEO backs selling AI-written books in storesEnglish
3·16 days agoI mean ai by nature is ripping someone off but ok. Thanks for posting the context though, much appreciated
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•How do you live knowing that there is no meaning in life?
12·19 days agoI’m glad there isn’t a meaning to life. If there was a meaning, then I’d have to be doing that thing or be failing at existence. If no act matters, then I’m equally valid for doing my goofy nonsense as I am working hard or whatever.
agent_nycto@lemmy.worldto
Memes@lemmy.ml•Yeah those protests and votes will sure show capitalism! 2nd amendment? whats that? sounds AuThOrITarIAn
2·19 days agoI like the idea of doing both.
How was that observation immature?


If he was the owner dude should’ve gotten a bonus or something for doing a good job